Minimizing Holiday Mayhem

I don’t care which holiday you celebrate – Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, etc. – they all have one thing in common.  They all hold the potential for mayhem and madness – especially for us moms!   According to the http://www.apahelpcenter.org -- American Psychological Association, past holiday stressors include lack of money, the pressures of gift giving and lack of time amongst others.  It doesn’t have to be that way though.  Over the last few weeks, I have been speaking with a variety of personal friends and “experts” regarding several aspects of the holiday season.  Below are my five tips for keeping things SIMPLE (or as simple as possible) during the holiday season.

1. Budget for holiday spending.  Since finances are consistently the number one holiday stressor, set yourself up to win from the start.  Recently, I was on a call with financial expert Jean Chatzky www.jeanchatzky.com . She shared the fact that people are still paying off debt from the last holiday season.  As such, she suggests that people don’t spend any more than 1.5% of their take-home pay on the holidays.  To help set a realistic budget, you can find http://www.jeanchatzky.com/swf/calculators/holiday.html holiday budget calculator on her site.  The thing that Jean mentioned (which stood out the most to me) was to include everything - holiday cards, postage, gift wrap, extra grocery costs, etc. – when making your holiday gift budget.  I can tend to just focus on the gift aspect of the budget and overlook those things and they really do add up!    

2. During the holiday season, we moms give so much to everyone else.  There will be plenty of time to connect with family and friends, which is great.  However, it is important that we make the time to take care of ourselves too.  Even if you only have 10 free minutes, use it to take care of yourself. If you need some “me-time” suggestions to help you relax and re-energize yourself, pick up my blogging friend Lyss Stern’s book http://divamoms.com/ If You Give a Mom a Martini… 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself.

3.  SMART holiday goals. Have you heard about SMART goal setting? The acronym stands for the following:

S = Specific (What exactly are you trying to accomplish?)

M = Measurable (How will you be able to tell whether or not you met your goal?)

A = Attainable (Be honest.  Do you really think that you can reach this goal?)

R = Realistic (If you work your plan, is it do-able?)

T = Timely (Set a definite time frame for what you want to accomplish)

Setting SMART goals is helpful.  Keep in mind though that despite your best plans, life will happen.  Give yourself what I call “wiggle room” – whether it’s time, money, etc., allocate a little extra “just in case”.

4. Try to keep things in perspective. Most of the things that tend to stress us out are relationship based.  Think about it though.  It means that we actually have relationships!  In their absence, life would truly be bleak. 

5.  Others Help. You don’t have to do everything.  For example, if a full meal is too much for you to handle, have a pot-luck style meal instead.  I do that a lot and they are always a ton of fun.  Also, don’t feel like you have to get everything on your kids’ wish lists.  First, decide which things you actually want them to get.  Then, when family and friends ask for gift ideas, give them specific direction.  I’m sure that if you take the time to think about it, you will find many ways to accept the help and support offered from loved ones.  Remember how good it makes you feel to help others and allow others to share in that feeling.

And lastly,

6. Extend yourself to those who are less fortunate. It goes back to keeping things in perspective.  People are really hurting this year financially.  There are so many charitable organizations that need financial donations.  Even if you don’t have extra money to contribute, you can offer your time.  If your kids are old enough to go along while you help, that is even better.  A small amount of time at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, a hospital and such, will do wonders for your mood.  I promise.  The gift of service to the needy cannot be beat.  If you need some direction, one online service that matches volunteers with needs is http://www.VolunteerSpot.com.

In any event, I hope that these five tips will lessen the mayhem and help your holiday season be more SIMPLE.  Happy Holidays!